It happens to every man. He sets his sights on a specific girl but fails to get the notch, usually because he brought weak game to the table. How can a man turn this situation around? Be awesome and stop caring. The less he chases, the less power she has over him, and the more natural his confidence starts to look. Once he stops acting like every woman is a final exam, the whole dynamic changes and he starts behaving like a man with options instead of a man begging for approval.

For a beginner, that can be hard to do but please trust me it’s the best strategy. During the years I was deep in the game, I screwed up my fair share. Always, it was because I gave too much away. Most men who detect the hint of success with women will signal too much interest and turn the girl off. The instinct is wrong, but the urge to prove yourself is strong. A guy usually thinks he is helping his chances, when in reality he is just draining the attraction right out of the interaction.

Unfortunately, the instinctual response is to give even more in order to win the girl over. The method that works best is to ignore the girl. If she’s not satisfying your needs, she might as well not exist. I learned early that pulling back often restores respect, while chasing harder only makes the problem worse and kills the vibe. It is better to stay calm and let her feel your absence. That quiet pullback says far more than a hundred needy texts ever could.

Somehow, I was lucky to learn this lesson early in the game. There were situations where I completely lost a girl, but usually I was able to pull back and demonstrate my awesomeness sufficiently to win back her interest. Interestingly, I seldom wanted it back. I had the mindset that any girl that passed up the opportunity to be with me was just revealing her own low quality. My mindset was that I was above the girl, and I was gracing her with my attention.